As someone who’s sat through hundreds of wedding speeches, both in person and in the editing room, I’ve seen the good, the bad and the sometimes cringe! So here is a wedding filmmaker’s formula on how to write a wedding speech that will make tears flow and glasses clink.
some general tips
It’s all about the couple
The biggest tip I can give you is to keep your speech focused on the couple. If all you do is stand up and tell the couple why you love them and why they are amazing together, you’ve got a great speech!
It’s a toast, not a roast but…
I actually love a mild roast in a wedding speech, especially at the start. Starting off with some humour really sets the whole room at ease and makes everyone far more engaged in your speech. You definitely DON’T want to actually embarrass the couple to the point that they would be uncomfortable (this is super cringe and awkward) and always follow it up with something heartfelt and genuine.
“for those of you who don't know me”
No need to introduce yourself, the MC will have done that about 5 seconds ago.
Practice out loud
Make sure you practice your speech out loud, not just in your head. Get someone to watch you or film yourself on your phone. You’ll be able to work through those nerves and make sure those jokes are landing!
Use. The. Microphone…
Seriously, there’s always one dude (yes, it's always a dude) who thinks they can project their voice and they don’t need a microphone. Do everyone (especially the videographer, who is recording the audio through that microphone) a favour and just hold that puppy nice and close to your mouth and let the microphone do the work for you. Atta boy.
the perfect wedding speech formula
Part 1: Your Person
Whether you’re a parent, best friend or sibling, there is likely one half of the happy couple that you are closer to. This is "your person”, and this is who should be the focus for the start of your speech. Pick one to three aspects about your person that you admire and share a story/stories that illustrate these qualities. Don’t be scared to mix up all that gooey admiration with a mild roast in this part too. Goes down a treat!
Part 2: The “Meet Cute”
Share your experience of meeting their partner for the first time. What do YOU feel was something about them that made them click as a couple or brought out something great in the other person? Did they unlock a new side of them that you had never seen before?
Part 3: A Perfect Partnership
Tell the couple how great they are together now. You can talk to or about the couple, your choice. Talking directly to the couple at this point can make for a really genuine and heartfelt moment. This is also a great time to give the couple some advice for a long and happy marriage if that’s something you feel qualified to do!
Part 4: Break the Tension
Ideally, by this point the tears will be flowing as you’ve been gushing over how amazing the newly weds are and how they are just perfect for each other and the emotional tension in the room will be at its peak. Your job now is to break that tension and allow people to have an emotional release and reset. The natural way to do this in a wedding speech is to offer a toast to the couple, wishing them all the best in their married life. As the audience applauds, the emotional tension in the room will lift, people will be happy.
My personal favourite way to break the tension however, is with humour. It’s a slightly riskier approach, but if done right it can make for a speech that will not be forgotten (and will definitely end up in the wedding film!).
the couple's formula
Most of these tips are aimed at people such as the parents and the bridal party etc. but as the happy couple your speech has a slightly different format.
Part 1: Thank everyone
This one is self explanatory really! It's coming to the end of the night, you guys have had an amazing day and it's time to let everyone who helped make your wedding day possible know that you're grateful for all their effort. This can be nice and quick but adding a little sentence about each person, how they helped out or why you love them is a really nice touch. My favourite order for thank you's is. Parents > MC/Officiant > Bridal Party
Part 2: The “Meet Cute”
We've heard about how you met from all your friends and family but now it's time to set the record straight and tell the story from your perspective. As a storyteller I love seeing all the different perspectives on the same event and hearing about it from you guys is the final piece of the puzzle.
Part 3: "The Vows" but it's the directors cut
My favourite way that a couple can round off the speeches for the evening is to circle back to what they communicated in their vows earlier in the day. It's a chance to talk directly to each other one more time before letting loose on the dance floor. To think about the future and let the other person know how excited you are to start this new chapter.
get inspired
Check out some of these films for some inspo on what makes a "wedding film worthy" speech!
that's it!
You're all set to write a banger of a wedding speech! Just remember to keep it about the couple, have fun, practice and use the microphone!
Peace
Ben